Friday, December 4, 2015

Ward's Words #600

When I was young my bowels would be lulled by the gentile rocking and swaying of a nice car ride.  One time on a date I felt the pressing urge to let one rip.  I would’ve obliged myself if not for two things.  I was on a date with a really hot girl and she was actually willing to go on a date with me.  As we pulled into the parking spot at the movies I quickly told her to wait so I could open the door.  As my door closed I farted a long loud sounder.  Taking my time I strolled around the car waving my arm trying to cut off any stench that could possibly be following me.  As I reached inside the now open door I realized my mistake.  I was offering her the hand I’d been waving behind me.  My beautiful date wrinkled her nose in disgust and I knew with utmost certainty that this would be our first and last date so I did what any jilted suitor would do.  I took her to see “Ernest goes to Jail” and laughed obnoxiously the whole flick. 

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