Ward's Words #1072

Ahhhh…  The start of a new school year.  I’m buying clothes and supplies featuring Spider-man.  I’m pretty sure it’ll be better than my Hello Kitty debacle of last year.

Ward's Words #1071

When I go to the bathroom it’s usually a major mathematical problem.  The amount of ply per square divided by ply thickness, with a quilted vs non-quilted variable, equals the distance of hand to poo ratio.

Ward's Words #1068

Don't get Teddy Ruckspin started. Unless you want to sit through a long-winded story. What a bag of hot air. 

Ward's Words #1067

I recently bought two ottomans with storage for my new collection.  I'm building my new Ottoman Empire!

Ward’s Words #1065

I hate when a snack chip promises to be hot (spicy) only to actually be just overly salty.

Ward's Words #1062

Saudi Arabia supposedly sits just above a sea of oil. When they pump it out doesn't that leave a huge hole somewhere down in the earth below their country?  Can you say they are either in kahoots with mole people or they are about to have a fall much greater than any nursery rhyme character ever had. 

Ward's Words #1060

While visiting the Allegheny Health Network pavilion I noticed the wing associated with respiratory problems is located on the top floor. Good planning AHN.

Ward's Words #1058

Todays rant;  She I say you’re dog’s a good boy, just accept it.  If you say she’s a girl, in some sarcastic voice,  I’m gonna go off.  How the Hockey Sticks am I supposed to know if it’s a boy or girl?  Should I lift a leg before I say anything.  Dress your dog in pink or blue if you’re going to be all specific on me.  It’s just obnoxious.

Ward's Words #1057

If I become president of the United States I don’t want them to play Hail to the Chief when I enter the room. I’m thinking Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap would be more fitting. Especially when I go into the bathroom.

Ward's Words #1055

If I learned anything from car collectors, I’m not old, I’m classic. Sadly, it looks like I’m not that many years from being antique but I’ll take what I can get.