Wednesday, November 9, 2016

In honor of my new saga "Shower Strike"

In honor of my new saga "Shower Strike," I will republish my last saga "Invasion of the Gingers." "Shower Strike" actually began 1 post ago. Enjoy the daily posts pertaining to this serial like story.

Invasion of the Gingers

Invasion of the Gingers 11-18-2014
Aackkkk… It just dawned on me. Gingers can use hair dye. The soulless could be walking among us at this very moment. Every one of you is now suspect. Stay back all of you, back I say. Where’s my zombie/ginger whack ’en stick?

Invasion of the Gingers 11-18-2014
I must master my fear, for this is a time for rational thoughts. Clearer heads will prevail. I must consult those champions of normalcy, Ward’s Words.

Invasion of the Gingers 11-18-2014
The fine people at Ward’s Words (the same people who formerly brought you Ward’s Laws,) are now working on ways to identify the daylight deprived. We now conclusively know that sunblock was designed so the gingers could walk among us during the day.


Invasion of the Gingers 11-19-2014
We, at Ward’s Words (formerly the less funny Ward’s Laws,) have found an ancient tablet. After deciphering it we believe the only way to stop the living gingers is to double tap them on their bright orange noggins. Where’s my 9 iron cause it’s clobber ‘en time!!!

Invasion of the Gingers 11-19-2014
It was a mistake. Everyone should stop bashing the pigment challenged at your earliest convenience. The old tablet really referred to a head ginger. If we slay the first Freckula the others will revert to a nice auburn (with soft highlights with a cute pixie cut.)

Invasion of the Gingers 11-20-2014
The only way to slay Freckula is to expose him to the cleansing rays of our earth sun. Entering his lair, located in his parents basement, we attempt to lure the sub-human from his shadowy domain. A trail of Pop Tarts leads our quarry out to his doom.

Invasion of the Gingers 11-20-2014
Thinking flames would lick skyward from the bones and ashes of the now destroyed Frecklua, to my dismay, nothing happens. A paper white claw reaches for my hand. I react too slowly, as the ivory fingers clutch my arm. Nothing happens. Could the tablets be false? Could everything I‘ve learned be horribly wrong.

Invasion of the Gingers 11-20-2014
Generations of man have shunned the gingers. The truth has been laid before me and like a mirror, it’s reflection reveals the terrible truth. We are the real monsters. We judged the gingers clown-like appearances falsely, and succumbed to irrational fear. In shame, I walk away… my heart nearly as heavy as my pockets, full of Freckula’s lunch money.

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