Ward's Words #319

After passing a shoe lying beside the road, did you ever try to piece together what happened?  Why one shoe?  I feel like Castle, trying to piece together the scene of the crime. I know what a single sock means but a shoe?

Ward's Words #318

I thought I'd redesign the laptop.  I guess thinking outside the box was a bad idea. The lapbottom tended to overheat and had a really weird smell.

Ward's Words #315

I went to the store to purchase two mother’s day cards.  The clerk asked me for $14.00 for the pair and I walked out.  $7.00 apiece for something that is going to be opened, read, passed around the room and by the end of the day, be in the garbage can.  No way, I tell ya.  Where're my crayons!!!

Ward's Words #313

I had the great idea to tie dye my swimming trunks.  I guess I shouldn't have used watercolor paints.  Worse yet, I went really heavy on the yellow.

Ward's Words #312

I joined the back hair club for men. I'm not just a member, I'm the president and after I take my shirt off, their God.

Ward's Words #310

Did you ever try to throw away a garbage can?  It's nearly impossible.  They are the boomerangs of the trash business.  I even wrote a note on one.  It said, “This is garbage.”  The waste management person wrote underneath, “No it's not.  It's where you put the garbage.  We call it a trash can.”

Ward's Words #308

My dad may look like Yoda, but he never trained me in the Jedi ways.  I think he’s holding out.