Ward's Laws #1961

Why does it seem every other month there's a super moon. Where were they when I was a kid?  I have a little theory. I believe the moon is plummeting toward earth. Probably piloted by moon maidens. We're on the verge of a full out other-worldly invasion. We're all doomed, I tell you! Doomed. There will be beautiful moon maidens all over the world  They will take us prisoner and do unfortunate things to like lock us up and ...  Hmmm. Nevermind.