Ward's Words #1106

Never try to do origami with a folding table. 

Ward's Words #1005

I thought of entering the next Olympic Games but a little auto-correct later and I find myself circumcised swimming.

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Ward's Words #1103

Just think for a moment.  If Sleeping Beauty was a drooler, she’d have been snoozing in a lake of her own saliva.  That would have made quite a moist kiss for her Prince Charming.

Ward's Words #1100

I must have some really seedy friends.  One recently asked me to go fishing with him.  I grabbed my gear while he brought a computer.  I think he meant the “ph” kind…

Ward's Words #1098

I just noticed that every time I say something good about myself I qualify it with something like, “For a guy my age.” 

Ward's Words #1097

No.  I’ve never seen a lassie go this way and that.