Ward's Words #1067

I like the term bathroom duties because I take my duty seriously.

Ward's Words #1065

Atheists are a non-prophet group.  

Ward's Words #1262

I really like the Allegheny Healthcare Pavilion. It was such a great idea to put the Pulmonary department on the top floor with such a lovely view for someone having an asthma attack.  

Ward's Words #1260

I’m really disappointed. Taco Bell says they have the next step in fries, then they show me cheese fries.  I’ve been eating nacho cheese fries for at least 20 years.  They are and were available… everywhere.  Maybe they should say, “We are finally catching up with everyone else and serving fries.”

Ward's Words #1258

This is the last time I pay the paperboy in bitcoin.

Ward's Words #1256

I have taken to wearing yellow pants.  Not for a fashion statement as much as to cover for incontinence.

Ward's Words #1254

Blaming auto-correct for poor spelling is like terrible blaming that smell on the dog.  It’s typically a distraction from it being your fault.