Ward's Words #1205

I will be giving my State of the Onion address tonight.  Right now, it’s gurgling around in my gut but I’m pretty sure it’ll be making a second appearance as reflux soon.

Ward's Words #1203

You’d think the food pyramid would be skinnier?

Ward's Words #1200

Does it strike anyone else odd that almost every member of Congress looks like gramma or grandpa.  Didn’t they ever hear about retirement?

Ward's Words #1199

You’d think a cuttlefish would be more cuddly.

Ward's Words #1196

I can’t wait until I retire.  Aerobics in the pool, that’s my speed, baby. 

Ward's Words #1194

I can’t understand why anyone is loyal to the Pirates.  The organization doesn’t feel the same in any way.  If they did, they wouldn’t be having a fire sale of their best players.  I wonder if their ticket prices will reflect their decline in salaries and drop?  I guess you’ll just be paying for a pirogue race and to have cheap t-shirts shot at you.  Go Bucs!

Ward's Words #1193

If the NFL isn’t rigged, why don’t the Steelers win every year?