Ward's Words #1052

I bought a magic kit. The fact that it contained no actual magic obviously didn’t seem important to the manufacturer.

Ward's Words #1050

In Yu-Gi-Oh, why does the dark magician only have one spell?  Shouldn’t a magician of such status at least have some sort of effect?

Ward's Words #1049

I'm changing my doctor. Not because I don't like him. It's mainly because he refuses to treat my condition with bizarre experiments which may or may not turn me into a super hero/monster.  

Ward's Words #1047

You know your dream, weatherman, job sucks when the local mayor orders people to leave the hurricane’s path, but the Weather Channel orders you to stay.

Ward's Words #1045

I don’t see how cutting into healthy, pink flesh and removing the testicles through that incision is fixing anything.

Ward's Words #1243

After touring Fallingwater, I realize that Frank Lloyd Wright was an artist. His designs were beautiful but not sound as far as construction. This makes me so happy that Picasso never ventured into architecture.

Ward's Words #1240

I’m not a medical doctor, but I’ve done enough home surgery that in certain holistic situations I’m probably over-qualified.