Ward’s Words #517

Ward’s Words, in an attempt to one up NASA found water on Uranus.  This begs the question of life being… what?  It was your anus?  You used a towel to… DAMMIT!  Never mind. 

Ward's Words #514

An iceberg sinking The Titanic is the the greatest zombie outbreak coverup story ever.

Ward's Words #513

At the beginning of Dog the Bounty Hunter is a message stating, "Don't try this at home."  I don’t get it.  Do they think I’ll try to collect a bounty on my brother or something.  Not that he jumped bail or anything.  Although, he did skip out on a grounding once.  I wonder what that would be worth?

Ward's Words #512

I was stopped in the airport and they said they had to preform a cavity search. Let's just say my dentist never looked there for a cavity. 

Ward's Words #509

Did you now you have a ballcock in your toilet?  That’s right, the guts of your toilet is called a ballcock.  I can’t write them this easy.  Wow.

Ward's Words #507

I wouldn't go down the street to Circle K with Liam Neeson.  I’d probably wind up in Istanbul sold into the flesh trade.  Well, the joke’s on them cause I lost a lot of weight.

Ward's Words #506

I started working from home a few weeks ago. Sadly, my boss hasn't noticed it yet. Maybe I should've told her.