Ward's Words #108

I don't trust people who have air fresheners in their cars. It makes me wonder what's decomposing in their trunk that they're so afraid of someone discovering.

Ward's Words #107

I tried a new pheromone based cologne.  I didn’t know the maker actually used avian pheromones until I got to the penguin section.  Let’s just say I’m not allowed to go back to the zoo, ever.

Ward's Words #105

If the lottery gave prize money for completely avoiding any correct numbers I’d be a millionaire many times over.

Ward's Words #101

I like going to a new Walmart when the set-up is backwards.  You know, the foods are to the left and the home goods are to the right.  It’s like being on a European vacation.  Cruising isles on the opposite side.  I’ll bet if you flush the toilets the water would spin in the opposite direction.  It’s pure magic.

Ward's Words #100

I applied for a new, job but they wouldn’t accept my diploma from Hogwarts.  It’s not like Stark Industry will amount to anything anyway.

Ward's Words #99

My family wouldn't let me listen to the Partridge Family cause their hippy freak looks and hypnotic hard rock was sure to poison my mind.

Ward's Words #97

I wonder if Hasheem Thabeet looks up to his parents?