Ward's Words #660

A 2007 genetic study suggested some Neanderthals may have had blond or red hair.  Neanderthals were gingers?  No wonder they met a genetic dead end.

Ward's Words #659

For all the hockey fans out there.  Not all ice resurfacer’s are of the brand Zamboni so stop just arbitrarily calling them Zambonis.

Ward's Words #656

Wouldn’t Park’n Eat be a better name for the restaurant chain? Safety first people.

Ward's Words #655

If a person in France makes toast is it called French Toast?

Ward's Words #653

You know you've been married too long when you spoon you're dog more than you're wife.

Ward's Words #650

Karate Kid memory number one. As the sensei of the Cobra Kahn dojo tells him to sweep the leg, Johnny suddenly realizes that his master is actually an evil Sith lord. 

Ward's Words #649

The next time I play the Powerball, I’m only choosing one number but using it six times.  That way, if my single number hits, I should be the big winner instead of the whiner I currently am.

Ward's Words #646

Man, that guy from the operation game had a lot of things wrong with him. 

Ward's Words #644

If you have you're deviled ham blessed, is it considered exercised and no longer deviled?

Ward's Words #643

In order to conserve calories, I pick the bananas out of my banana splits.  

Ward's Words #640

I like to go to the bank and wander around looking at stuff. Eventually, someone comes over to me and asks, "Can I help you?"  I always respond with, "No, I'm just browsing. 

Ward's Words #638

Being at the magnetic North Pole would be weird.  If you were giving directions they'd always start out with, "Go south..."

Ward's Words #636

My GPS must be in calculus class because it’s always recalculating.

Ward's Words #635

My school was so small that we actually had a one man band.