I'm an author and artist who just can't get enough of the zombie apocalypse. If you love zombies, this blog is for you. I also write jokes. You may notice one or two of them on the blog.
Friday, May 30, 2014
Thursday, May 29, 2014
Ward's Laws #1815
I wonder what the line is on the National Spelling Bee. I'll bet Vegas is gonna make a killing.
Wednesday, May 28, 2014
Monday, May 26, 2014
Ward's Laws #1810
I invented an app that stores your passwords to all your important programs and sites. I'm putting it up for free cause I don't need money to support the app. Not after I get all of your passwords that is.
Sunday, May 25, 2014
Ward's Laws #1808
Bridesmaids dresses are designed to make sure the bride looks prettier than her friends. Why else would you buy a dress that you, or anyone else, would never buy or ever wear at any other occasion for any reason even on a dare.
Friday, May 23, 2014
Ward's Laws #1807
I wonder how many people continued eating Soylent Green even after they found out is was made from people.
Thursday, May 22, 2014
Wednesday, May 21, 2014
Tuesday, May 20, 2014
Ward's Laws #1801
If we have all this fracking going on in Pennsylvania, why haven't my gas bills dropped? I mean, they're making this crap in my backyard, right?
Monday, May 19, 2014
Ward's Laws #1798
I tried to create an alternate power source for my car. I guess using a windmill was a bad choice. An even worse decision might have been to fasten it to my roof with duct tape.
Sunday, May 18, 2014
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
Tuesday, May 13, 2014
Ward's Laws #1792
What kind of person eats peanut m&ms when there's a perfectly good bag of chocolate ones right beside it?
Monday, May 12, 2014
Sunday, May 11, 2014
Ward's Laws #1789
Why do I always suspect people who run alligator farms of being serial killers? There's a connection somewhere.
Saturday, May 10, 2014
Thursday, May 8, 2014
Ward's Laws #1785
An old state law that's still on the books says that all Pennsylvania's public servants must believe in a god. I think it's written to keep those dirty atheists and their scientific lies out of office. So, from now on, I'll be worshipping the mighty Cthulhu. I vote you hope for me.
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
Ward's Laws #1782
I came up with a great spin on the whole dinosaur theme park idea. I like to call it Geriatric Park. Thrill to she sights of the all-you-can-eat puree lunch, served promptly at 3:00.
Tuesday, May 6, 2014
Ward's Laws #1780
I need a pygmy primate marmoset. It could ride on my shoulder like a Pokemon and I could train it to fight to the death for my amusement. I just need more badges, dammit!!!
Monday, May 5, 2014
Ward's Laws #1779
Why is it that every time I've nearly completed my army of giant robotic drones the zoning officer shows up. Do they make these restrictions just to bum me out?
Sunday, May 4, 2014
Ward's Laws #1776
The Boston Tea Party must have been a thrilling sight to see. All those tea bags floating in the harbor, Jebediah Starbuck starting his first coffee shop.
Saturday, May 3, 2014
Ward's Laws #1774
Why is it, every time I attend a graduation ceremony I feel like I'm a step away from being in a Harry Potter movie. All those robes and mortarboards, I just wish I knew what house to root for? Slytherin or Hufflepuff for me.
Thursday, May 1, 2014
Ward's Laws #1773
I got caught smuggling maple syrup into Canada. How was I supposed to know that America's hat already had some?
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