Ward's Laws #1418

I think my secret agent programming was botched. Every time someone says my trigger word, I go all Jason Bourne on a bunch of doughnuts.

Ward's Laws #1415

I think Canada's about to attack the United States. At this point our northerly neighbors have sufficiently lulled America into a false sense of security. I think it's time we deploy a branch of our military to counter their plans.  I'm thinking the Salvation Army should be enough to quell the tide of the Maple Menace.

Ward's Laws #1413

Does it count if I make a wish on the first satellite I see tonight?

Interview at Author Quiz

I'm so excited!!! I was interviewed by  Charles at Author Quiz about my zombie book series. Please take a minute and check it out.

http://authorquiz.blogspot.com/2013/08/doug-ward-author-of-parasite-true-story.html 

Ward's Laws #1410

I just listed the lunar rover that was abandoned on the moon on eBay.  It's just sitting there like no one wants it and as a taxpayer I do own a part of it. At least I was smart enough to list it as pick-up only.

Ward's Laws #1409

I'm thinking about breaking out my fake ID so I can get some of those great Senior Citizen discounts.

Ward's Laws #1407

We need to start a campaign to force Microsoft to bring back Clippy.  The whimsical avatar that guided me through every word document back in the 90's deserves a reboot!

Ward's Laws #1406

I recently went to the bathroom at a place where the urinals so low to the ground that it appeared they were installed to support the little league World Series.  My ankles took a beating from the splash-back.

Ward's Laws #1403

I love guys who have their phones in a pouch on their belt and their sunglasses in another belt pouch. They start to look like batman in khakis.

Ward's Laws #1402

Apparently the killer robot I built in my basement has decided to become a pacifist.  That's the last time I use parts left over from Peace Corp. computers.

Ward's Laws #1399

Why aren't snowsuits a bit dressier?  Maybe they should have a little necktie.

This is the first Spanish review I've known about for any of my books.

I found a link to this review on Goodreads.  It's in Spanish.  I love it but wish Bing translator worked a little better.  It still doesn't dim my enthusiasm.  This seriously made my day!!!

 http://librosdeolethros.blogspot.com/2013/08/saving-jebediah-doug-ward-2012.html?showComment=1376143234093#c2961250122547267180

Ward's Laws #1397

My dad always told me to be a leader and what do I do?  I follow 1727 people on Twitter.  Sorry dad!

Ward's Laws #1396

Why are the new music formats all called by abbreviations?  CD or MP3.  Back in my day we just used to say whole words like cassette tapes or albums.  It didn't take much longer to say them and we didn't have to rebuy our music collection in a new format every three months.

Ward's Laws #1393

Shark Week is making me want to redo my vacation plans.  Hello Kansas!!!

Ward's Laws #1387

I'm going to get Jiminy Cricket tattooed on the bottom of my foot.  Maybe with a somewhat crushed look.

Ward's Laws #1385

I'm not buying into this smartphone fad.  I give it another year and everyone will be jealous of my pager.

Ward's Laws #1383

Today was a beautiful day to go for a ride with the windows down and the sunroof open.  My shoulder hair blowing in the breeze made me feel...  kinda old.